Love in the digital age: Dating and deciphering the language of love in the 21st century
My era on dating sites at a non-committal age was quite fruitful and I dare say I met some really incredible specimens of men from dating sites.
After my stories or experiences, I could write a collection or straight-up dating guide that would be one big joke.
But I have to point out that even though I have encountered so many cases, it has helped me to pick out the types of men I definitely don't want in my life and who have taught me something, and in doing so I have been able to discover my true values and needs in a quality relationship that I can't do without.
At the time, it was a hobby and a time filler for me, but also a course of education and exploration of men's minds and attitudes.
Oh yeah, modern dating.
Remember when it wasn't the custom to "slip into someone's messages" and talk to people face to face? Yeah, me neither.
Welcome to 2024, when finding love is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube... blindfolded... while riding a unicycle. But why has dating become so complicated?
And more importantly, how does this digital maze affect women in particular?
Buckle up, we'll break it down with some humor, real emotions, and a few tips on how to find the one - you know, your soulmate (or at least someone who won't dump you after three dates).
Why is dating so difficult these days?
1. The swiping syndrome
We've all been there - the endless swiping on Tinder, Badoo, Hinge or any other app you downloaded at 2 am out of desperation. You swipe right on someone nice, they swipe right back and you're like, "Wow, maybe something could come of this!". And then... boom. It's like they're pairing up with you just to prove to themselves that they've got it. That's a reason to roll your eyes.
This culture of swiping creates the illusion of endless possibilities, but in reality, it's like standing in front of the fridge looking for a snack: you see a lot of options, but none of them seem quite right. After a while, you're so overwhelmed by the choices that you just pick the rest of the pizza... again. This "grass is greener" mentality makes us endlessly search and wait for the perfect choice that may not exist.
Funny example:
You: Swipe right on a nice profile.
Him: He looks at you too.
You: And I'll take a picture too. "Wow, maybe that's it."
Him: "Hi."
You: "Hi!"
Him: He disappears into the darkness of the internet, and you never hear from him again.
2. Ghosting: Houdini's modern-day act
If ghosting were an Olympic sport, we'd all be gold medalists by now. Imagine: you're having a great conversation, sharing memes, and suddenly - poof - they're gone! Have they entered a monastery? They've been abducted by aliens? Or did they just... stop caring? Spoiler alert: it's usually the third option.
Leaving has become an escape plan for people who don't know how to handle confrontation, leaving the other person wondering, "Was that something I said? Or was it the selfie that made my hair look like a bird's nest?"
Funny example:
Me after being approached by a ghost: I switch into FBI mode and check all social media to see if the person has posted anything in the last 48 hours.
Narrator: "She hasn't actually found any evidence of his whereabouts."
3. Texting: A black hole for emotions
Remember the days when people had real conversations sort of by mouth? Now it's all about decoding text messages as if you were a CIA cryptographer. "What does "yeah, I'm at the bottom" mean? Is he excited? Is he bored? Does he even care!"
We live in a world where a mere "k" can cause a full-blown emotional crisis.
Between emojis, short replies, and autocorrect disasters, the world of texting is a minefield of confusion. Are we flirting, or just sending memes back and forth? No one knows anymore.
Funny example:
Him: "Hey, it was really nice yesterday :)"
You: "I agree! When are we going to hang out again?"
Him: "Haha, yeah..."
You: "Haha, yeah what? Are we going to laugh together? What's funny? Are we going to have fun together or not?!"
The impact of dating results on women's lives
Let's be realistic for a moment. This struggle isn't just funny - dating in the digital age has a significant emotional impact on women.
1. Emotional burnout
We women are often expected to be the emotional support in relationships. But how can you emotionally invest in someone when you're not even sure if they'll respond to your messages in three days (or ever)? Constant back and forth communication can drain us emotionally. We struggle to connect on a deeper level while trying to decipher whether the "haha" means he's laughing or just filling space.
2. The pressure for perfection
Dating apps have turned us all into mini-marketing agencies for ourselves. Swipe-worthy selfies, witty bios, and perfectly curated Instagram feeds? It's exhausting! Women face a lot of pressure to look flawless online, which can take a serious toll on their self-esteem. How are we supposed to compete with female influencers who have glowing skin, abs, and cute dogs named after indie bands?
Funny truth: You: You spend 45 minutes perfecting the selfie you want to post. Him: He likes the blurry selfie from the mirror in 2017 instead.
3. Ubiquitous fear of settling
As women, we're told not to settle, but we're also constantly warned about not having enough time. The message is loud and clear: "Find someone soon or you'll end up with a house full of cats!" But seriously, how do you balance the high demands without feeling like you'll be left behind in the great race of love?
Funny thought: Me: "I refuse to settle for less than I deserve!"
Also I: Considering writing to an ex because I'm tired of explaining my favorite movies to new people.
4 tips for finding your soulmate (or at least surviving the chaos)...
Okay, dating may feel like an endless episode of The Twilight Zone but don't lose hope. Here are some tips on how to survive and thrive in the wild world of digital dating:
1. Deal with rejection
Rejection sucks, it can't be sugarcoated. But you know what? It happens to everyone. It's not a reflection of your worth, and the sooner you accept it, the less personal it feels. There's a lesson to be learned from every awkward first date (or at least a funny story to tell your friends).
2. Stop taking texting so seriously
No one has ever fallen in love via text message. Seriously. The real magic happens when you're face-to-face, so stop overanalyzing every message and focus on the personal connection. Did he send you a one-word reply? Don't freak out. Maybe he's just bad at texting. (Or maybe he's a robot. Either way, it's no big deal.)
3. Be yourself, turn off the filters.
You don't have to be a walking advertisement on Instagram to find love. It sounds like a cliché, but being yourself is the best way to attract someone who really resonates with you. Sure, a funny bio will help, but the right person will want more than just a highlight.
Funny reminder:
Yes, you can swipe in your pajamas while eating ice cream. Your soulmate won't mind. In fact, he might even join you.
4. Don't be afraid to take breaks
Dating fatigue is real. If apps make you feel anxious rather than excited, it's okay to take a break. Focus on your own happiness, spend time with friends, and trust that when you're ready, you'll dive back in with renewed energy.
Love, laughter, and patience
Dating in the digital age can feel like a marathon without a finish line, but it's important to remember that behind all the swipes, text messages and ghosting are real connections waiting to be made.
Yes, it's a little crazy and yes, it can feel like a full-time job, but with patience, humor, and a strong sense of self, love is still possible.
And when all else fails, there's always that leftover pizza.
How is online dating in your place? Do you believe in finding the right person on a dating site?
Write your experience in the comments...
